My Cousin 'Nem — adayinmycloset

I announced my move to family and friends several months prior to departing. Because you know folks need ample notice to get those coins together for any kind of trip, let alone one that requires a passport. I didn't want anybody upset like I didn't give plenty of time to contemplate an opportunity for a subsidized visit. But mama don't play. Before I even received my assignment or accommodation details from work, she had already sent me her own flight itinerary and hotel reservation for my expected first month in Dubai. I told her the timing hadn't been finalized and worried whether I'd miss it. She said that if that was the case, she'd be happy to share her tourist recommendations with me afterwards. Savage. God worked it out, and she arrived with my cousin Lynda a couple weeks ago, blessing me with hugs, kisses, Duty Free wine, and keekees.

One of the first places on our list was a visit to the souks, or marketplaces, in Old Dubai. The textile souk near Al Fahidi is similar to the garment district in New York. Often sourced from India, Nigeria, North Africa, Persia, and Southeast Asia, the fabrics are decadent and delicious. The area is teeming with wholesalers, so we walked for a good time just soaking in the different color combinations and embroidery upon silks, linens, abayas, camel's hair, cottons and brocades. After spending a little too long oogling pieces around the doors of a store named Shilpi, we were ushered in. They started unraveling beautiful bolts one after the other, assuring us they could cut any amount, no minimums. We started contemplating available space for bringing yards of fabric back home, and the energy it would require to make something from them. Overhearing our discussion, our new Indian brothers, Sumit and Anil quickly pulled out some fashion books for us to look through, explaining that anything we see can be made overnight with our fabric of choice. With comparatively cheaper prices than in the states, we all decide to get custom creations.

We took so long browsing that by the time we were rung up and ready to get fitted, we were told the tailors were on their lunch break. We didn't know that the men at Shilpi wouldn't also make the garments. Sumit told us to come back at 4p so he could walk us to their tailors. Sigh. We find a nice looking restaurant, Mini Punjab, for lunch of our own. It happens to be very well known, because a tour bus unloads inside shortly after we're seated. It's amazing, flavorful. We all dined extremely well for AED80 ($22) total.

We stroll back to Shilpi and Sumit keeps his word. He walks us around a couple corners and down several streets to Regent Tailors, which happens to be across from none other than Mini Punjab, where we just ate. He does not work there, but stays an hour translating for everyone as his English is better than the others'. I take a liking to the main tailor, Pravin. So sweet and humble, you can tell he just loves what he does and wants to please his customers. They have pictures of Western and Eastern style clothing to choose from, but I already have ideas in mind for my fabric. I get to drawing things with Pravin. He points, shakes his head, and waits for Sumit to translate when he doesn't think what I'm asking for won't work, but then his eyes light up when we come to an understanding. My mom and cousin have their go at some cool designs as well, and we can't wait for the final products to be ready. Alterations were made on the spot when we returned a couple days later, and the outcome is of superb quality and highly recommended.

How pricey is it? What I liked most ranged from 6 yards of printed silk for AED400 ($109) to 5 yards of a cotton blend for AED60 ($60). I got a floor length skirt, a fitted midi dress and a long robe sewn for an additional AED400.

What strikes me most is the symbiotic partnership these businesses have with one another. There are hundreds of stores nearby, and we passed several tailors on the way to Regents with Sumit. I wonder how they found each other. Perhaps they're related. How amazing would it be if we did more of this? Literally going out of your way to give your trusted neighbor your clientele. Believing that they will do the same in return, engendering customer loyalty. Building communities that intentionally share contacts and support their brothers' and sisters' endeavors, especially with those who can provide complementary value. Small businesses thrive on word of mouth referrals. It is expected in so many cultures to pass on opportunities first to those of similar heritage. Yet when we are asked for a professional referral at work, it is unfortunate that we sometimes worry about the perception of suggesting another Black business as a vendor, or are concerned with jeopardizing one's reputation when throwing a friend's name in the hat for a new job opening. Similarly, studies show executive women to be very apprehensive in advocating for the advancement of other women in corporate settings. Guarding their seat, or afraid to be looked at as showing favoritism, when men do it all day long.

I want us to do more of this for ourselves. Unapologetically.

Now there is definitely a wrong way to go about it. We took a private tour of the city on another day, for which we had the ability to create our own schedule with the driver for a designated amount of time. On the way to the beach and a famous landmark, our guide suggests we stop in an art gallery. Why not? The main floor is full of stores. We head to the escalators assuming the gallery must be further up, and are stopped by a couple gentlemen who introduce themselves and direct us to another wing. They begin telling us some history of the Gulf region while we're admiring the hand-woven rugs on the walls. They ask us to sit down. Wait, why do we need to sit?? One of the men starts bringing rug after rug while the other describes the intricacies of the peacock/camel/teapot handiwork. Then it dawns on us that we're in a sales pitch. (Ain't nobody ask for a wall hanging. We tryna see the Burj Al Arab!) We politely listened for as long as we could bear, and then got up to walk around. We asked if there was more to the 'gallery'. After another hard sell of family heirlooms, basically the answer was no. This driver got us. He used 30+ minutes of time we paid for to send us to his cousin Ray-Ray for potential commission. That ain't right fam. Be up front about your connections. That is all.

Back to Bur Dubai. For a mere AED1, we hop on a water taxi to cross the Dubai Creek to Deira. It is full of life. Perfume, spices, jewelry, and souvenirs abound. Streets are filled with locals and travelers alike, and it is easy to tell who is who. The biggest giveaway is one carrying a shopping bag coupled with a look of either amazement or disorientation. Unfortunately, we too stick out like sore thumbs. Commercial solicitations start to fly from every direction. This is normal for a street market, but my elders are distracted. I'm trying to navigate the busy streets and move them along, while somehow simultaneously deterring offers by repeating in the most kind-natured, upbeat voice I can squeak out over the sounds of traffic whizzing by: "Oh thank you sir, NO thank you sir! Ma, stop making eye contact! Not today, thanks! Keep walking, they will get out of your way. No no, not for us! Here, grab my arm! We're making a right here." Too much fun.

My cousin was hoping to find some nice pearls after learning in the Dubai Museum about the city's early start in the pearl diving industry. She asked someone for directions through the plethora of gold past which we could not see. This man told us instead to follow him for "Real American Diamond: Zircon!" Hard pass on that one, brother. But for the rest of the week, if anyone got testy, we would whisper to each other, "don't make me go Zircon on that ass."

I really wanted to get a custom fragrance made in the perfume souk, especially since the local scents are quite unique. Al Medkhan looks as a laboratory crossed with a perfumer's lair would. They patiently allowed us to smell a lot of materials to familiarize ourselves, then walked us through their popular sellers. We got our creative juices flowing and went ahead in requesting personal blends. I named mine Empress d'Orient.

A little ways down across the street, we found ourselves in bigger, ornate versions of the last. The next couple places on Sikkat al Khail Road not only offered attars (perfume oils) galore, but beautiful bottles in which to display them. There are assortments in size and shape. (Pretty sure most were from China, but you didn't hear that from me.) With uncommon glass, wood, and atomizer designs, they still make for great gifts.

There is too much side by side competition and customer influx in this area for us to be ushered to another distant relative selling complementary goods. But I am sure that if we had asked, a familial recommendation wouldn't have been but a stone's throw away.

Chiffon Kimono: @garden_aden Jeans: American Apparel (RIP) Ankle-Wrap Flats: Halogen Sunnies: Jimmy Choo Fabric Store: Shilpi Textiles, Al Fahidi Street, Bur Dubai Tailor: Regent Tailors, 25 C Street, Bur Dubai Perfume Oils: Al Medkhan Perfume Trading, Sikkat al Khail Road, Deira Oils & Bottles: Surrati Perfumes, Deira