31
Have you ever been disappointed in yourself for not pursuing something, and let the weight of your inaction overshadow your determination to begin?
I don't know what took me so long to come around. At the urging of close friends who over the years have enjoyed my whimsical, political, comedic, and spontaneous commentary on FB (otherwise known as #ryanstories), and who saw the potential for me to capture a superior repository of photographic memory through frequent #ootd posts, I have finally obliged.
For someone who doesn't enjoy reading all that much, I guess it felt odd writing to those who do. But we can't live for an audience. Utilize God's gifts and follow your passions. Do right by people. Create. Give. Love. Regardless of who is watching. External praise never quells internal longing.
Last night, I spoke to my parents for the first time since moving to Dubai two weeks ago. We caught up on as much as I could remember. They wished me an early happy birthday and asked what I had planned for the day. I haven't quite yet made any friends outside of work, and did not have it in me to drop that not-so-subtle hint that my birthday would be this weekend in order to guilt someone into offering the new girl some company. I had nothing in mind, and quietly noted that this would be my first birthday spent alone.
In the time it took to reflect on my blessings and pray for a brighter spirit, I was able to fall asleep with re-balanced perspective, and awake to new convictions.
I'm very black and white. I either go all in or leave it all the way alone. Those of you that know me will not be surprised to learn that I simply got up this morning and started researching blog platforms and photographers in the area. And then...
Birthday Bantus,
I been on since the 90's
- booked a couple to do a photo shoot later in the afternoon
- started on the hair, nails, outfit selection and exfoliation process (ashiness cannot escape a DSLR)
- commissioned my graphic designer pham in Brooklyn to create a logo for me
- visited a couple salons for jewel crystals to accent my eyes and lips
- stopped by the ATM for some cash
Yeah. All dat by 2pm. I planned to get my nails done as well, but ran out of time playing around with these damn Bantu knot sections. The first salon around the corner refused to sell me the nail decor by piece, but the next one saw my vision and came through! I was so grateful, that I decided last minute to let one lady put lashes on for me as well. If we gonna be extra wit it, I thought, let's be extra.
Never do that. Not under a time crunch. My eyes were accidentally glued shut and had to be pried apart with tweezers. I rushed home to finish getting ready after they were repositioned, and could not see through the burning tears. I don't care who you are; you will not be cute squinting through heavy, crusty eyelids in direct sunlight. I struggled to get them off and just went ahead with my planned makeup routine. My photographer Pavel and his wife Karina accommodated by pushing the time back a bit, and suggested Dubai Marina for a diversified backdrop. I am so pleased with the results.
Not gonna lie, people stared. NYC instilled a greater confidence I didn't know I had until today. I was videoed by passersby a couple times while shooting on the promenade. Wonder if they'll be disappointed when they try to google image search my face and come up with a dusty LinkedIn page?
Little boy walked around me like this for 10 minutes straight
While waiting in a taxi line to leave, this sweet boy was so enamored by my look that he took about fittyellem photos of me. Without asking. His family was extremely embarrassed, but because of his age, I allowed it. We all tried to get him to take a selfie with me, but for some reason he was bold enough to snap a stranger from a few feet away, but too shy to get any closer.
I went back to get my nails done professionally after painting over old gel in the bumpy car ride to the Marina. Bisou hooked it up. No more rushing. Relaxation and hilarity ensued as the sun fell on women cackling over themselves.
Of course, I had to find a glass of those good ol' grapes to complete my night. I enjoyed a delicious, solo dinner at the Lebanese Ahwak Cafe in the Grand Millennium Hotel, where I was able to gather my thoughts for my first post. It's ok to consider yourself a masterpiece and a simultaneous work in progress. It wasn't so bad after all.
So what did I do for my birthday this year? I launched my brand.
Photography: @bestphotographerdubai Jumpsuit: Kaarta Imports & Fabrics, NYC